Creative thinking can bring about an inner awareness
Prison Inmate – Special Treatment Unit, Matapuna. Christchurch Men’s Prison. 2011
I worked for several years as a contracted art tutor to Canterbury Prisons. This poem was passed to me on the day of this young man’s graduation from a comprehensive Special Treatment Unit Program from a high-risk reoffending unit. It was a handwritten poem on an artwork that he had done while in class with me in 2011 at Christchurch Men’s Prison…
If you like me, read the first two lines of the poem and thought ..Was this appropriate? My heart sunk in my stomach. Had this young man developed a crush on me, and I’m not being vain about that, it’s just that I knew that I was often the only ray of light in some of these men’s long and dark days while incarcerated.
I’d been told on my induction training to the prison to be mindful of this sort of thing happening .. to be aware of prisoner manipulation ..and I thought to myself.. Do I need to report this to the Principal Corrections Officer? But you need to read on.
Creative thinking can bring about an inner awareness and can convey to others what someone is thinking and feeling even when they may not be able to verbally express it. Now this may be conveyed visually through painting and drawing, or it could be in a written work, or it may even be through dance or music.
Poem : To a Lady I once Loved
The day I first met you, I remember all too well
You made me feel I was complete
I loved your very smell.
It was only meant to be one night
That we would be together
I gave you all my heart and attention
You said that its forever
I was so young when I fell for you
I was with you everyday
You said for our relationship to work
It had to be your way.
Each night when we lay down
in bed to go to sleep
You would hold me tight and keep me warm
From my head down to my feet
As we lay entwined together
You would whisper that I’m yours to keep
But I knew that when the night grew cold
You’d leave me in my sleep
In the morning when Id wake
To find you that you were gone
You knew that I’d come searching for you
Even If it took me all day long
No matter who you’d been with
No matter what you’d done
You knew I would take you back
Because you were my number one
When Id finally find you
I would be the worst for wear
My body would be aching
Sweat would drench my hair
Id beg you to come and hold me
Please just for one more night
You’d ask for a bit more of my soul
And then you’d say all right
There’s only so much a man can give
Before there’s nothing left
I knew that if I wasn’t careful
That you’d take from me my breath
The time has come for me to choose
I know its life or death
I know our relationship must end
For me to be my best
I’ve followed you to concrete cells
Where alone I had to fight
The days were long
And they were cold
But worst there were the nights
All that I could think of
Was how I missed your warm embrace
To feel your love, to touch your skin
I wanted just one more taste
But you never came, you broke my heart
And left me all alone
From rising temperatures to cold sweats
that chilled me to the bone
Now that I’ve come through the pain
To you I won’t return
It’s taken me 15 years of hell
For me to finally learn
That all I must do to win
Is not to take you back
I’ve said goodbye and buried you
Your name is on a plaque
It reads a lady lies alone
Cold here within
She was my love, my heart my soul
Her name was Heroin